Sir Leon is secretly hilarious
by The madness in me
Summary: Merlin was the only person who knew...Sir Leon was hilarious!


Most people didn't know it but Sir Leon had a great sense of humour.

Most people knew him as the sensible honourable captain of the royal knights.

Most people only saw the calm, respectable man who would unflinchingly follow his prince into any battle without hesitation. A man of dignity and resolve.

Merlin was not most people.

Merlin was Merlin and he was never more pleased about that than when he was alone somewhere with Leon and the dignified respectable knight let his guard down enough to let his true personality show, because Merlin was the only person in Camelot who knew...Sir Leon was hilarious.

Right now Merlin and Leon were alone in a secluded part of the castle sharing a plate of food in the early hours of a summer morning. Neither really needed to be up but it was so rare the two secret friends had a chance to spend time together they occasionally made a little extra effort.

"What time do you need to head off?" Leon queried.

"I think I have another hour at least. Arthur doesn't have any commitments today so I'm sure he'll be happy to laze around in bed until mid morning if I let him."

Leon smirked "Laze? Our grand and noble Prince does not laze Merlin"

Merlin grinned, happily falling into their favourite game of mock the prince (a guilty pleasure of Leon's that no one but Merlin even suspected him of indulging in)

It had begun back in the days when Arthur had still been the arrogant bully Merlin first met. Leon had not approved of the Prince back then and although his loyalty to the kingdom and sense of self preservation prevented him from openly revealing it he certainly had more than a few choice things to say about the heir to Camelot. This dislike had led to the unlikely friendship of him and Merlin after the young servant had accidentally overheard the knight muttering about how the 'arrogant little prick was going to ruin the kingdom' and sworn to keep his secret.

Although both had grown to love Arthur as he changed into a better man (a feat Leon believed was entirely Merlin's doing) they still enjoyed cracking a few jokes at the royals expense now and then.

"Ah yes Sir Leon you're right, what a fool I am, I'm sure at this moment the grand and royal Prince Arthur is reclined upon his grand and royal bed in a poised and dignified manner"

"Resting his grand and royal head" Leon added.

"And when he wakes he will stretch his grand and royal arms" Merlin continued.

"Release a grand a royal yawn" Leon agreed

"Scratch his grand and royal arse" Merlin laughed

Leon snorted and decided to up his game "ah yes, and then he will no doubt take advantage of this fine morning to enjoy a grand and royal tug on his grand and royal prick"

Merlin had to bite his hand to stay quiet as he descended into a fit of giggles.

Leon stood up, striking a pose as though he were making a speech, voice calm and serious.

"Which as befitting a prince... " he continued "...will be standing tall and strong. As dignified and proud as he is"

Merlin was nearly shaking with laughter as Leon began to pace in front of him, hands grasped behind his back and chest thrust forward describing in great detail the strength and nobility of the royal princes royal dick.

"It will stand firm and unyielding. A monument to our great Kingdom. A thing of beauty. Thick, long, glistening and...and...Pendragon red!" he finished, punching his fist into the air.

Merlin hit the floor clutching his stomach and crying with laughter.

* * *

Merlin was sulking.

He hated these hunting trips. Something always went wrong. he always got blamed and he was always, always overworked. Weren't all the knights meant to have squires to tend to them or something? Why was he the only servant who ever came on these things? Why was he always left looking after all of them? He was exhausted.

"Hey Merlin" Leon gently coaxed lining his horse up alongside the young servants.

"Yes Sir Leon?" Merlin answered politely

"I just wanted to ask something"

Merlin sighed "Yes?"

Leon smiled holding up the edge of his own cloak "What colour is this?"

* * *

"Merlin!" Arthur cried out in irritation "We are barely going at a trot, how exactly did you manage to fall off your horse?"

Merlin couldn't answer he was laughing too hard.


End file.
